The Dog Ate Your Baby Book : When In Rome, Do As The McKendricks! Part Two

Rich and Lisa not only took Rome, we slayed it. We stabbed that city in the heart, chopped it into bits, and dumped it into the river. And yes, I’ve been binge-watching NCIS. But seriously, we have more to share about our trip to Rome! So, let’s get going. Once again I’m writing in the normal font, and Rich’s comments are in Italics.

MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN AND THE LEGIONS OF LIVERPOOLIANS

Turns out I booked our arrival to Rome to coincide with a particularly heated soccer match involving Rome and Liverpool. I don’t understand soccer. Rome won, but not by enough, so Liverpool won. It was a puzzler, unlike the posters all over Rome that said Oido (I Hate) Liverpool! Yep, there was some bad blood between these two teams, and lots of fans were converging on Rome for a piece of the action. That meant the customs line was slow and people were trying to skip us, but not with Rich aka Gandalf-You-Shall-Not-Pass! on the job. That’s right, we don’t care about you, your toddler twins, and emotional support Chihuahua. Back of the line! For the record, there was no lady with twins and a Chihuaha. It was a man. I’m joking. Rich here. For the real record, some lady was trying to get her whole travel group of 18 people past us and I had had enough. I think my words were “that’s enough.”

I was a bit stressed about how we were going to get from the airport to the hotel, but as it turns out, Rome’s got it all figured out. There is a train, The Leonardo Express (13 euros), that runs from the airport to Termini station, which is Rome’s bus/metro/train station. Once you’re there, you’re essentially downtown. Our hotel was a five-minute walk from the station, which, as I stated in my last post, thanks to our yard sale luggage, Rich thoroughly enjoyed. I made due. The original McGyver series was based on a man named McKendrick. Need I say more. (I may have made up the McGyver/McKendrick thing.)

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

I don’t know why, but my natural pessimism tends to take a hike when it comes to the weather. Did I consult a forecast while preparing for our time in Rome? No, I just assumed it would probably be sunny. Why thirty plus years away from Rome had me convinced that we were in for sunny, hot weather, I can’t say, but I will say this, it would have been smart for us to have packed RAIN PONCHOS. Turns out early May in Rome can be a bit of a dog’s nose—wet and cold. Who knew? Probably someone, just not me. In all candor, Rome was full of people approaching us every five minutes asking us if we wanted to buy an umbrella. It wasn’t until our 2^nd day of rain, at 10:00 at night that we finally paid five euros (about six bucks) for one. Because it was going to be sunny soon!

ENTERING TWILIGHT ZONE

So, not only would rain ponchos have kept us dry, they would have minimized our twilight zone experience. Let me explain. So, a long time ago there was this dirt bag named Schippio Borghese, and he happened to be the nephew of the Pope, which meant he had plenty of money and power, but zero principles. So, Schippio’s one big passion in life was art, and he collected it any way he could, which included throwing people in jail and stealing it. You name it, he did it. But, the good news is all his art is still in his mansion which sits just on the edge of Rome. The bad news is, getting to his mansion can be confusing. Rich and I had plenty of time to get to the Borghese before our tour time, so we strolled around town, took in the sights, and eventually stopped to eat. There is so much to learn when you’re in a city like Rome, and the day of our Borghese tour we learned that Rich is lactose intolerant, and that my pizza covered in buffalo mozzarella had his body wanting to a wonderful impersonation of Trevi Fountain. We were in Italy so Trevi Fountain is a wondeful comparison, but yet, somewhat lacking. Think more Mt. Vesuvius with lots of tremors before the mighty eruption.

So yeah, that slowed us down a bit. But, no worries, we still had loads of time. Trouble was, when we finally got to the Borghese we discovered it’s not just one spot, it’s an entire park. Sort of like Central Park, except, unlike Central Park, sparsely populated. There was a man selling balloons, another playing an organ grinder, a wind-up monkey banging cymbals just sitting in the road (possibly a figment of my imagination), and a guy walking by in a trench coat, not to mention, loads and loads of winding paths. As soon as we got there, the rain began. What had all day been just mist turned into plunking drops. But no worries, we were at the Borghese! Except wrong turn after wrong turn meant that instead of finding the gallery we just kept finding ourselves back at the organ grinder. So, let me fast forward the picture for you: Rich limping along in pain, the rain becoming a mini hurricane, me running around trying to figure out where the gallery was, the monkey banging his cymbals, and the organ grinder playing on. It was as close to the twilight zone as I have yet to experience. But with just minutes to spare, we made it to the Borghese and were able to look at some of the most beautiful statues ever created. Bernini was a genius, and Schippio Borghese’s greed means that there are plenty in the Borghese. They only give you two hours to see everything in the Borghese Gallery, then they kick you out. I saw marble statues, wonderful paintings, but saw too much of their porcelain thrones.

#metoo

Yes We VatiCAN

The big draw at the Vatican is The Sistine Chapel. It’s where Michelangelo painted his masterpieces, and it’s where the cardinals meet to vote for the next pope. The Sistine Chapel is a must, and I thought it was interesting that the loin cloths covering the hinterlands of everyone at the final judgement were not part of the original design, but apparently, they were added by Michelangelo’s friend at the request of the Catholic church after Michelangelo’s death due to pressure from the Protestants to cover up. Seen with that bit of info, the loin cloths looked out of place to me, but added a bit of interesting history. After seeing the Sistine Chapel, we hustled over to St. Peter’s Basilica. It’s huge, and it’s a good thing, because there was a crowd a mile long waiting to get in. Thankfully, we skipped that line because of our tour, and walked right in. I’ve got nothing here. It was a lot to see in a short amount of time.