Sweet Caroline

Just in time for menopause, Bruce Jenner is becoming a woman.  As vice-president of the Hot Flashes Society, I’ve got to say that may not go down as the best decision he’s ever made.  But hey, we all make choices we regret.  Like, for instance, me, neglecting my blog for months on end.  Yeah, shouldn’t have done that.  But life sometimes can be like caravanning behind a friend who has a lead foot—you’re trying to keep up, but they’re going so fast!  Enough excuses.  It’s time for me to channel my inner Jeff Gordon, because whether I write about it or not, life is going to keep speeding past, especially now that we have a daughter who’s engaged.

Had Rich and I been more analytical (and a tad less passionate) Caroline wouldn’t be here.  Life for us at the time was a sketchy affair—two kids already to our credit, one still an infant, and Rich a new law student making zero dollars an hour, we weren’t exactly ready to welcome anyone else into our family.  But that’s what I wanted.  It wasn’t a decision based on logic, and so when I miscarried, I didn’t’ view it as us dodging a very expensive bullet.  This was a decision based on love.  Whether it made sense or not, I wanted another baby. 

And so, Caroline came into our world, arriving toward the end of Rich’s second year of law school, and right before I started graduate school.  She was beautiful, and blessed with a sweet disposition.  We called her our snuggle buggle, and pled with her to stay four forever, because she was such an adorable preschooler.  Time with her in our home slipped away fast.  Like sucking a milkshake through a straw, it was gone before we knew it.  Now Caroline is engaged, a temple date has been set, and part of me is wanting to point out that, logically speaking, they’re too young, too poor, and have too much schooling still ahead of them.  But this is a decision based on love, and if Caroline’s life has taught me anything, it’s that from those decisions spring forth life’s greatest blessings.

Whatever hardships we endured from deciding to have Caroline I’ve forgotten.  I’m sure there were missed trips to the mall, and lovely cuts of roast beef I couldn’t justify buying.  Certainly there was stuff we missed out on because of that baby girl.  But now we have stuff.  We have plenty of stuff, and we also have Caroline.  We have her kindness, her humor, her music, her beauty, and sometimes her sass.  We have pure joy, and even Neiman Marcus doesn’t carry that.